Wednesday, 23 March 2016

A Fairly Pants Day.

So, today is a fairly pants day. Those close to me would say that I've been overdoing it but how can I overdo things when what I do is a fraction of what other people are capable of?

One thing I hate about Meniere's Disease is being treated like I'm made of eggshell. I still remember the days of my youth when I would cycle for miles and miles, run with carefree abandon through fields of nettles and other such youthful nonsense. Now, however, spending a morning staring at a computer screen whilst entering invoices makes me want to vomit and attending a comic convention for two or three days takes over a week from which to recover.

So, I get told that I'm overdoing it and I need to rest.

But what if I don't want to? What if I want to live a normal life like someone without stupid little sacs of imbalanced fluid inside their ears? Is that too much to ask for?

I think not.

I don't want to spend the day feeling constantly tired or depressed. I don't want to dread having to cook my tea because that means standing up for half an hour watching vegetables boil whilst the room is spinning.

Right now, I would kill for normality.

But in doing so, would I lose what I am, a survivor?

I have this constant battle every day and, so far, Mister Meniere's has yet to win the war. Yes, he may gain the occasional victory, but even now, sitting here with the fug of gloom encompassing me, I know in my heart of hearts that tomorrow will be another day. I will meet people who shall make me smile and I will receive all manner of cuddles and love from my furry friends.

So yes, today is a fairly pants day.

But that doesn't mean that tomorrow will have to follow suit.

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